We all like to cling to the past. Caught up in nostalgia, it’s tough to let go of happy memories. The same goes for holding a grudge, we can’t let go of that slight or betrayal. Everybody has a memory worth holding onto. But it’s the ones that get in our way that keep us from building beautiful bridges to the lives we say we want. To our futures. Ready to shed a few tears and to let go of what happened? Good, it’s time for us all to take the next steps.
How to let go of what occurred in your past.
What happened occurred. It’s not necessarily right or wrong. It’s not absolutely justified nor in any way kind. Moral. Righteous or deserved. How you or I would be in the world. Things happened and they hurt.
But because they occurred doesn’t mean, we have to stay stuck in those moments. Nor do we have to be surprised when the memories haunt us. The mind works that way. We become triggered and feelings can be overwhelming.
Feeling the feels is a very human response to help let go of what happened.
It’s when the overwhelm keeps us from moving forward that we need to interject self-love. And a little tough love. You see, you and I, the ones feeling the feels, are the ones suffering from what happened. Not them. We’re the ones who remain stuck in our unhappiness or nostalgia remembering when…
The bridge to build has to be on a foundation of self-love and compassion for being human. If you’re reading this, you’re a feeling animal. We have to grant ourselves the grace to remember what happened, to feel, and to be allowed to let it go. Moment by moment.
These are not sweeping declarative orders… the mind doesn’t work that way. This is more of an “aha” moment… ‘oh, I’m going down that rabbit hole again’ thought that you gently re-direct.
By doing so, we remain very present to what’s up within. And without… are you surrounded by people who will hurt you? Do you need to quit that job? Is it simply the need to change the radio channel you’re listening to? When you take a look around, you become present to what’s up in the here and now.
But the present isn’t always fun. Especially in the heat of intense feelings and overwhelm. In fact, the present is often very difficult.
Creating the bridge to a future you can call your own starts within your imagination. You see what you want. You can feel those feelings and imagine being where you want to be. But in the moment, that can be tough. You may be very far away… feeling feelings you never want to have in the future.
Creating the bridge to a future you can call your own starts within your imagination.
To bridge the past to the present to the future requires a new strategy. First, the awareness that you don’t like what you’re feeling or where you are. Second, knowing a change can be done. That you can heal from what happened. Then the patience to work through the tough feelings and make the choices to change what’s going on.
My clients and I struggle with feeling the feels. I was, after all, an actress. I was paid to cry on TV! So feeling the feels is what I do best. But when I become nostalgic or angry about what happened in my past, I miss out on the amazing things happening in the moment. I also miss out on creating the bridge toward what I want.
That’s when I re-rack and get present to the here and now. I ask myself, ‘what do I have to do now to move my life forward?’ And I get going, practicing what I preach.
When I become nostalgic or angry about my past, I miss out on the amazing things happening in the moment.
In fact, it was only by doing these steps above that I let go of the past betrayal and heartache. By allowing myself the time and place to feel the feelings, I was then able to let go of what happened and heal. It’s what I want for you.
If you’re having trouble with bridging your past to your future, reach out. Let’s set up a strategy session so you can move forward with your life and create the amazing future ahead of you.