Another employee up and quit without warning. That’s leaving important agreements with me with no warning and no discussion. I get it, work is hard and showing up someplace you don’t want to be feels demeaning. But there is a good way to quit your job or to leave your family without losing face. In fact, the best way to break important agreements is easier than you think. And you get to go with your head held high and some grace and gratitude in your wake
When you’re done you’re done but those important agreements you made, they still carry on.
You want out. The marriage is stale, your job sucks, the neighborhood is boring, and your routine’s dull. Life can appear dreary for many. But that doesn’t mean by leaving, you’ve solved anything other than changing where you are. The expression, ‘you bring yourself wherever you go’ is so applicable in this moment.
When you quit, your important agreements are still hanging.
When you leave your family or you leave your home, the things you’re leaving still carry on. Kids need parenting, love still needs to be made, and the things that keep a family together have to continue. You may be leaving, but your family stays intact.
When you quit your job, there’s no real consequence except for the people you’re leaving. They’re the ones who have to pick up the slack. Your employee may or may not be able to quickly hire someone in your place. You may quit and leave but the work carries on.
Leave with some dignity rather than with all your emotional stuff.
When you make a career move, we’re told to be quiet about it. To interview during lunch, and not let others know before the big announcement. It’s exhausting. And it shows just how important it is to quit and leave gracefully.
When you leave with your head held high, you reap the reward.
Leaving with your dignity intact means a great deal. Your employer has invested in you. You invested in learning new skills and participated in relationships. Leaving abruptly is like betrayal. It hurts others.
If you have a conversation, offer to help find your replacement, and even train someone, you win. (Okay, perhaps not a new spouse.) But you get what I’m saying… help out your employer so that you can leave with some dignity and self-respect.
The more I work with others, the more I’m amazed at how people short change themselves the little wins in life. The chance to set a good impression. To leave with one’s head held high. An opportunity to find and train your own replacement gives you a chance to feel needed and wanted. These are important aspects of life.
When you leave a marriage after participating in therapy or telling your kids together, you know you did your best. There is nothing more important than that self-awareness, your head held high, your self-respect intact.
It may be easier to discover the holy grail than to get that work-life balance we all seek. Especially if you’ve recently ended a marriage and returned to work. You’re not alone. It seems as if everyone talks about schedules, demands, and too much responsibility. 
Your life. Is it enjoyable and fun or exhausting and nerve-wracking? A little too heavy to think about even? Unfortunately, if we depend upon life to make us happy, we are SOOL. You take back your power when, independent of circumstances, you get excited about your life again. And when you focus on what experience you want at that moment, life gets easier. We all know that in theory. But no matter the chaos, 
None of us are capable of living the elusive ideal dream life we crave. We are all running around to do what needs to 
I’m not suggesting you ignore your kids or play hooky from work (unless you want to.) But I am suggesting you join those who have the stamina and grit to face their stuff with a smile. Because they declare how they’re going to do so. They’re not blind to circumstances. They 
As a child, I went through my parent’s divorce. I can speak from experience about how difficult it was to watch my home break apart. It wasn’t easy and it wasn’t fun. And my brothers and sisters and I definitely did not want it. Saying all that, however, doesn’t mean that going forward, my life was terrible or that my parent’s divorce wasn’t a good thing for me and my brothers and sisters. It means, as a single dad, you can learn how to be a good parent to your wounded kids by helping their hearts to heal. You learn how to help your kids heal by making sure you lead the way by healing your own heart first. You help your kids heal from divorce by doing your healing process on your own. 
As their world has fallen apart – something they never asked for – their safety and security also disappeared. They’re re-learning whom to trust. As their father, your role is to provide safety and security first and foremost. Not be their best friend, indulgent shopper or frightened adult unsure of where to go next. It’s best that as children, they don’t spend a lot of time with that part of you. Even when they know intuitively it’s there. That healing work is yours to do on your own with a mentor, a therapist, a coach. Not with your kids. Your kids need you to be their rock. To maintain discipline, safe boundaries, some structure to their day and of course, to love and nurture them. 
This can get confusing for adults going through a divorce. They don’t understand how hard it is for their kids. Most single parents are so caught up with their own pain, they forget their children come from two of you – the two of you who are fighting. So single dads bad-mouth the mothers or the kids are told way too much about the divorce case. Each parent tries to play the kids off one another and the kids, your kids, won’t and don’t want anything to do with you. 
Getting over a breakup is never easy. But I promise it won’t suck forever. It does suck for quite some time, however. That pain is usually covered up by this acute anger or fear or depression. It often feels as if you’ll never make it through this stage, doomed to deal with your breakup for the rest of your life. But despite the worry or tears, there are several signs that show up when you’re actually moving on from your divorce. These are the signals you want to know about. They’re proof your getting over your breakup and that a good life after divorce will happen.
Start with a good attitude. I often use the term perspective when discussing the experience of divorce. The stages you go through are rather universal. Sure, you have your own personality and story. But, for the most part, the perspective you need is not personal at all. Your attitude and how you handle what you know and what you’re doing is.
It takes a while to create a better life after divorce. The gestation period to create the very life you claim you want takes longer than falling in love. It’s harder than giving birth. It costs more than starting your own company. Okay, I’ve taken a little creative liberty here but you get my point. It doesn’t happen all at once or right away. Nor will it show up the way you imagine.
