divorce

Here Are 4 Things You Have Wrong About Divorce You Need To Fix NOW

June 12, 2018

“It takes 2 people to nurture a relationship.”

My favorite quote, “love is something we create and work on; it takes 2 people to nurture and build a relationship” takes the sting away from a marriage gone south. No one can have a relationship by themselves. Your life after divorce is filled with hope whether you’re struggling with what to do after a breakup or not. As you learn how to deal with co-parenting, how to date after divorce and how to get over a breakup you caused, you are well on your way to having excellent coping skills when dealing with divorce. When dealing with life after a breakup, here are 4 things you have wrong about divorce you need to fix now.

Shame: how to get over a breakup you caused

Shame complicates how to get over a breakup you caused. But you’ve got to pull yourself together because no matter what you may be thinking or feeling, it’s not all your fault. Even if you’re the one who cheated. Betrayal does cut deep. It takes a personal commitment to oneself to heal from a spouse who’s had an affair. But it is doable. And, it’s often a gift in disguise.

You know that relationships end for all sorts of reasons and if you were both happy, you wouldn’t be where you are today. That’s a tough pill to swallow. It’s so much easier to remain angry, victimized, and self-righteous than do the healing work. Find help so that over time, you’ll be able to be with someone who won’t hurt you in the future.

You also know that your healing includes owning your part in the breakdown of the marriage. This is where blaming your ex (the one who cheated) gets tough.

What to do after a breakup when the person you once loved hurt you?

I do not prescribe that forgiveness is more important than boundaries. It’s important to heal properly. Healing takes boundaries and a feeling of safety. So how to get over a breakup you caused when you were not the one who cheated? When there was no blatant affair or you were simply unhappy? What do you do then? How do you hold your part in the breakdown of your marriage?

This is where some deep soul searching and personal growth needs to come into order. It’s so much easier to simply swallow the shame and project this image that your ex is all to blame.

But in truth, we all change as we age: hormones, self-care, passion, life-choices begin to catch up with us. And if we’re not responsible for our own well-being and health, then we may lose someone we love.

I write this to encourage you to rethink how you’re living your life. We have to be honest here. Your life after divorce is filled with hope. You have a chance to take ownership and create things you want! But in order to learn how to get over a breakup, you caused, you can’t simply ignore what’s occurred in the past or totally blame your ex

It takes 2 people to nurture any relationship. The self-incrimination or blame needs healing. They can’t stick around or get in too deep without causing long-term pain and suffering.

What to do after a breakup: coping skills when dealing with divorce

So what are you to do? Developing coping skills when dealing with divorce usually look like dating again, engaging in lots of sex or staying in and hiding from sex or waiting out time. It may be a good idea to let some days go by while you do your best to manage the onslaught of feelings that overwhelm your senses. Then again, it may not.

Coping skills when dealing with divorce demand taking care of yourself. Learn how to eat well and exercise to manage the stress. You’ll want to find a counselor and/or coach (they are different and have different roles). You may want to return to work or engage in social activities that don’t include sex. They will help you build a new community and get you out of the house.

Life after divorce is filled with hope

Even when you may feel a bit lost and confused. Even when you may want to hide at home. Hope is necessary to create your life after divorce. You have a wonderful chance to become the kind of person you dream to be.

But, what about being content with where you are? What if you’re the kind of person who wonders why “others can’t love you just the way you are?”

It’s not good to stay stuck in a rut. You’ve got to insert yourself into new things… lose some weight, eat better, learn to cook, learn how to balance a budget, get a job.

You just can’t expect everyone you want to be with to be able to accept you just as you are… we age, our bodies change; unless you’re super lucky, you’ve got to clean up your act to attract a new partner in order to find love and affection, if that’s what you want.

Parenting advice: dealing with co-parenting after divorce

One of the most difficult things about co-parenting after divorce is the on-going anger and resentments. Without some work, you’ll carry a lot of old judgments and expectations into the new family arrangement.

Decide you’re going to figure this out. (News Flash: your friends don’t usually help.) So instead, find a coach and/or a mentor who understands this modern-day rite of passage and can help you heal while simultaneously getting your life in order.

The hardest thing is to keep your feelings in check with your child’s other parent. But decide to be civil and get some coaching on dealing with co-parenting after divorce. It is not easy! It’s also one of the most important lessons you will leave your children.

What if you’re still struggling with what to do after a breakup?

This tells me that your environment may not be healthy enough for changes to stick. Or your coping skills, when dealing with divorce, are in their infancy. You might have Post-Traumatic-Divorce-Disorder ™. Or your friends don’t know how to advise you. (They often don’t.)

You may have tried dating after divorce and yet, you’re disappointed and lonely. The anger and hurt make it tough to let go of the story. It’s not always easy to turn the story around to empowering your life after divorce. It’s hard to shift your habits and practices.

I find it’s not easy to ask for help. It’s tough to make changes stick when they seem so easy on paper (been on a diet recently?!) But with the right environment, everything is attainable.

Decide that your life after divorce is going to be hopeful and filled with new relationships. Or choose to be happily single. Either option works as long as you are happy and content with your life. If you find yourself stuck, reach out! I’ve got your back on these changes and know your life after divorce is hopeful!

Laura Bonarrigo is a Certified Life Coach and a Certified Divorce Coach. Laura’s a writer, public speaker and the founder of doingDivorce™ School an online coaching program for those ready to shed the pain of divorce. For empowering and practical ways to lose the identity of your past, visit www.doingDivorceSchool.com.

The Hardest Part About Being A Single Mom (& How To Deal With It)

April 27, 2018

Being a single mom

Being a single mom, you want to be happy and provide a safe home but usually, don’t know how to keep yourself feeling positive, don’t really believe you will be happy and don’t know how to deal with providing for everything you know you need for your kids.

The hardest part about being a single mom is knowing that hope and dreams are possible even in the face of tremendous fear.

The way to deal with that part is to surround yourself with those who feel the same way. Your community, including your children, are the seeds of possibility. What’s the hardest part about being a single mom? Finding the right kind of people who will help you make your future dreams come true.

Leaving a marriage, there’s always this combination of fear and excitement whether you wanted out or not.

Both are valid – the dreams pull you out of marriage, the fears keep you from falling fast. Most women just want to be happy and be able to provide a safe home. They want to rush to the end of the story. But they don’t know how to keep themselves feeling positive. They don’t believe they’ll be truly happy with all of the stress. They don’t know how to provide financially for themselves way too often, and they’re worried about their kids.

For many single moms, those dreams usually include (fingers crossed) a new home filled with hope, joy, even happiness if possible. Maybe a new lover. A place for dreams to come true. However, in the beginning, chaos and confusion typically reign as a single mom does her very best to set up a new home for her children.

The familiar rules which kept two adults parenting together fall away in the face of just kids and mom. There’s this intense sense of not knowing what’s going on or what to do first. One of the hardest parts of being a single mom is believing that you’ve got this. Even amid the fear. That you and your children will manage, figure things out, and even thrive.

Chaos and confusion are at the root of what it takes to create a home filled with hope and dreams. You cannot create possibility out of a broken framework. A marriage between a mother and father that didn’t hold together is a broken framework. So at first, you will feel as if everything is falling apart and you don’t know what you’re doing. And you don’t. Actually, you can’t. Your kids don’t know what to expect and neither do you.

Happiness and joy come out of that chaos.

Without it, you can’t begin to create your new home. Your new home is built on top of this new family structure, and together you and your children, are the ones who have to make it work. And that’s never easy.

To believe in possibility, new dreams, even new love requires accepting how to deal with this part of separation. You will be in chaos and confusion until you accept and deal with recreating your rules, boundaries, and self-discipline in the face of pain, upset, expenses, and single-parenting. The moment is difficult. I wish I could tell you differently.

I have found that those who set up any other unrealistic expectations in their new household, any sort of perfection really, like some super strict “family rule” guidelines, are setting themselves up for denial and dysfunction.

No one goes through a divorce without having to deal with their broken hearts.

Not adults. Not children. And perfection or guidelines requiring 100% compliance without compassion fall short of dealing.

Surrounding yourself with people who not only grasp this reality but also support your efforts to deal with it, by letting you, is paramount. You cannot do it alone. You also cannot do it the way you used to when you were married and supposedly in a good place.

That looks like leaning into new friends, finding a new community filled with compassion instead of judgment, and being with those who understand what you’re up against.

Creating hope and possibility out of a broken heart is the stuff dreams are made of.

Because creating hope and possibility out of the old set of rules, listening to the old criticism and being immersed in self-incrimination, judgment or despair doesn’t work.

To develop emotional resilience and hope means (breathe in now) that you have to take a step away from your past and surround yourself with faith in possibility. No matter what you may be thinking, this kind of faith demands acceptance and compassion.

Forgiveness even. It has more to do with a bigger perspective, filled with possibility than it has to do with hanging onto what you’ve known or are used to from the past.

This takes faith and courage.

But it’s not just faith and courage. It’s saying no to answering every single text 24/7 no matter how difficult it is to resist. It’s about letting a few things slide (in my home, kids aren’t required to make their beds anymore). It’s about a no-lying policy at my house. It’s about deleting those who are critical of me and my parenting style from my contact list no matter how many memories we once shared. It was about allowing myself to change how I parent as a single mom instead of taking on a more limiting set of rules and guidelines. In fact, it was all about opening up to the possibility. A bigger perspective.

Faith, courage, action steps.

In the chaos and confusion inherent in the lifestyle shift, you may be unsure of how to do these things despite trying your hardest. That’s where finding a new community becomes mandatory. Honestly, I would not be where I am today without my new support structure. I’m not saying to get rid of those who are your champions. However, I am saying, quite emphatically, in fact, to find a new group to help you on your way to your life filled with dreams.

In order to find a new support structure, you step into faith.

And, it takes courage to do just that. As you start your new lifestyle as a single mom, you’ll most likely, pull-in. You’ll be ashamed, scared, unsure even though you’re doing your best. But trusting others is the furthest thing from your mind. I totally get that! The hardest part of being a single mom is to believe you’re worthy of a new group of positive, kind, compassionate people. When you look for them though, they may be hard to see.

I had to look a long time. Unfortunately, it took a while, filled with trial and error, to find my new community. I thought it looked like my old life, my old kind of friends, my old type of lovers. Boy, was I wrong!

Looking for a new support structure.

Surrounding yourself with compassionate, supportive, action-oriented, that kind of kick in your butt with love sort of support doesn’t come naturally when you’re feeling alone and isolated in chaos and confusion. It takes some work. So don’t give up!

Try not to confuse that effort with falling in love or getting that promotion at work. Or even getting away from that other parent however much that is driving you. Those steps are a part of the overall healing but not the kind of support that will help you develop true faith and courage in yourself as a single mom. In some ways, those steps are like candy.

Or they’re the sprinkles on the frosting, not the ingredients of a dream life. Only those who have been where you are will know that. At first, it’s easy to get confused by distractions.

At first, the hardest part about being a single mom is going to be the self-discipline to find a part of you willing and able to shift.

To realize that even with all the work you’ve done being a single mom (and I know you’ve done a ton of work already) there’s still room for more. And you’re worthy of opening up to it. You’re even worthy of having your dreams made possible. And you’re especially worthy of happiness and love.

If you’re willing to take a good look at the chaos and confusion you’re in, and ready to step into the possibility of being happy, delighted even with your life, join me in doingdivorce™ School. Because I’ve built this school on compassion and acceptance – the very ingredients you need to make your dreams come true.

Laura Bonarrigo is a Certified Life Coach and a Certified Divorce Coach at laurabonarrigo.com. Laura’s a writer, public speaker and the founder of doingDivorce™ School an online coaching program for those ready to shed the pain of divorce. For empowering and practical ways to lose the identity of your past, visit www.doingDivorceSchool.com and laurabonarrigo.com.

The Joys Of Being A Single Father After A Separation Or A Divorce

September 12, 2017

The moment you and your wife separate and move into separate homes will be the moment you’ll be faced with being a single father. Maybe a full-time single dad. Maybe a part-time single dad but a single father none-the-less. Since every family dynamic is different and every parent brings with them their own understanding of what it means to be a dad (single or not), I’m not going to profess to be an expert on your family. However, the joys of being a single father, after the initial and sometimes repetitive moments of “what have I done?” are many.

There’s this romance about separation and divorce.

For the most part, men know they don’t run their home the way their wives may have. They know the kids… especially the girls… side with their moms more. But there’s still this naive, sweet desire to share ice cream with your children. To take walks in the park or toss a ball with your sons and play with the dogs the way you used to. There are the nighttime rituals with your children you don’t want to give up. It’s a dream that, no matter what age, fathers want to indulge.

There’s also this confidence single dads have that they can parent with integrity and grit.

Unfortunately, that doesn’t always happen and a lot of single dads have a tough time showing up once reality comes around. It usually has to do with a sick child, a temper tantrum, accident or meltdown. Sometimes it occurs when there’s a choice between working and parenting. It also disappears when a new woman shows up at the playground or school meeting. This is where feeding, tucking your children into bed and creating new rituals get tossed aside for the affection of an adult female companion.

As you step into being a single father, one of the perks is the undivided attention you and your kids get to share.

With the big change in your family, you get to create new things to do together that don’t mirror your old life. Then you get to decide altogether the things you want to continue doing. You also get to show them what a good man is… even if, especially if, you were the one who broke up the marriage. Unfortunately, that new woman you may want to date may be fun for you and your needs, but she isn’t fun for your kids.

The benefit of being a single dad is that you’re the one modeling for them what a good man is:

Your girls need you to show up for them. They need you to be strong and steady and they’re going to be testing you over and over again. There’s a big opportunity to teach your children what a safe, solid guy feels like.
Your boys need you to show up as a man worthy of their respect. They need you to show them how to be there for girls (their sisters) and how to do what needs to be done in the face of difficulty and novel moments. They’re watching you.

When a new woman comes on the scene, your children need to know they come first.

You’re rebuilding your trust with them.

Even if you were the innocent party in your separation and your kids know all the details. When you create a new home with them without their mom, there’s a negotiation happening. Trust between you and your brood is being re-established. After all, you’re the only parent with them now.

So it’s important to know that. Just like you perhaps, once the family is split up, kids don’t know what adults to trust in their life. If they’ve been living with the same lies you have (whether you told them or not) they will question everyone’s motive. They may pull in. Or they may develop habitual, physical ticks out of stress. Sometimes they may become more reclusive. We know of kids who began hanging out with the wrong crowd or become promiscuous. If you’re not present and in charge, they’re going to go somewhere else where they feel they can control the environment.

The opportunity to rise to the occasion as a single father helps you.

It helps you when you have to show up for them. Especially when you have to give them your undivided attention or when you have to comfort or guide them. There’s a joy in that responsibility if you stay focused on the prize. For a lot of women, it’s a turn on to watch a dad intently focused on his children instead of flirting with them. Your children will feel it too and learn to respect and appreciate you. You’ve got to love that!

The other benefit of being a single dad is the opportunities you get to offer your kids without the fighting inherent in an unhappy union. Dads are typically more adventurous than moms. And even when your daughter may not want to join you at the water park, you get to engage her senses in a way that draws her out of her girlie shell. You get to introduce her to a bigger world… as long as you show up as someone she can feel safe with. You’ve got to make her feel safe.

If you’ve weren’t able to step into your manhood with your wife, now is your chance!

This joy is all yours and teaches your kids what a safe, masculine man is like. That’s a gift every child needs (and wants). The safer your kids feel with you, the better they’ll behave. The more they’ll want to impress you and the more your girls will warm up to you in your new family arrangement.

Will there be the moments you won’t know how to braid her hair or manage his homework, sure! Of course, there will be. But the true joy of being a single dad is putting the fighting behind you so you can show up as the dad you’ve always wanted to be. Leave the new women to when they’re with their other parent!

Laura Bonarrigo is a Certified Life Coach and a Certified Divorce Coach. Laura’s a writer, public speaker and the founder of The Better Divorce and doingDivorce™ School – online coaching programs for those ready to shed the pain of breakups. For empowering and practical ways to lose the identity of your past, visit www.doingDivorceSchool.com.

Which Marriages Survive Infidelity And Which Don’t Re-Ignite The Passion

July 24, 2017

When passion is missing, we pull in, retreat, and hide from our lives. We hide from our deepest desires including being with the person we say we love. How often have you found yourself hiding from your lover, your spouse? How many times have you retreated in boredom and exhaustion instead of tending to the fire of your relationship? We wonder which marriages survive infidelity and which don’t. It all depends upon understanding your degree of passion.

Passion makes it all worthwhile.

Passion! The expansive energy that lights us up and fuels our days. Passion is the feeling that defines being alive. The sense that we’ve got a reason to get out of bed in the morning. The force that keeps our love-making full and our relationships important.

Falling out of love with a partner can chip away at self-esteem and erode the foundation of our lives.

There’s no easy way to deal with the loss of passion. It has little to do with the thoughts you think and everything to do with the feelings you create. The difference between those who know how to survive cheating and those who don’t is grasping this rite of passage. Let’s dive into which marriages survive infidelity and which don’t and how to survive betrayal to restore your relationship’s passion and love.

The moment of boredom.

You know which one I mean. It’s the one when you realize you can’t sit across from them another minute. You simply don’t care about their day. You don’t care about their boss, their workload, the kids’ issues, their problems. You’ve no more to give and it’s torturous to pretend you’re interested. The boredom washes over you. You know how you’re feeling is normal, natural but wrong. You think, when you finally wake up to where you are, that you’ve had it, it’s over.

The new interest who’s caught your eye and your attention.

The one who’s exciting and good looking. They’re the one who listens to you with fresh eyes and a beautiful smile. The one who hangs on every word you say. They see something in you your partner hasn’t seen in ages. How long has it been since your lover (the one you’re committed to by word or law) has thought you were the boss? How long has passion been missing?

Infidelity begins so innocently. It creeps in when we’re not looking.

But when it occurs, it’s as if lightning has struck! The passion of feeling alive is seductive. You want more of being joyfully adored. Your soul screams of pleasure and delight (as long as you don’t consider the lover at home). You try not to waffle between feelings of intense excitement and fear. (Not because sex or being loved is wrong, only because you’re going against the commitment you’ve made to another person, never mind yourself.)

Reconciling your need for love with your need for integrity, respect, attention.

You and I both know you’ve thought about ending your relationship many times. Every day even as you rationalize that, “marriage contracts were put into play when humans didn’t live to 80 years old.” “We all outgrow one another.” or “Everyone’s having an affair.” The cynicism is exhausting. You blame them for not being the kind of person who lights you up. You rationalize staying because of the kids but you skulk around and are intimate with others because you can. Especially when you travel for work. And then you wonder, how can my marriage survive their / my infidelity?

You choose to re-ignite the passion for marriages to survive infidelity.

The opportunity is right next to you day in and day out. At a certain point in life, you have to realize that your relationship is your greatest teacher. It has nothing to do with how old you are or what kind of work you do. Choosing to survive infidelity is about stepping into being your word. And re-igniting your interest and passion in the person who is your spouse. It’s not about being a martyr or “doing it for the kids.” (News flash: they know what you’re up to frankly and don’t really care about your feelings anyway.) Those child-centered marriages usually lack the very passion and fun you’re craving, so no wonder you wouldn’t want to stay living like that.

Doing the right thing is about making sure you respect yourself enough to remember your dreams.

Why bother having desires if you’re not going to commit to them? Ideally, the person you’ve committed to has your best interest in mind. They know what you want. They knew you when. You commit to making your marriage a place of intimacy and love again by examining your own beliefs and the story you’re telling yourself. You decide to find the passion again.

When you feel passion, you have the energy and heart to remember what you love about that person in your bed.

You become curious about what lights each other up. Then you step out of the ego’s need to be right and you decide to put your family in its entirety first. You make your life fun again, together. Not for them, for you. Yeah, you’re going to suck at this at first. It’s not going to feel as good as that attention and orgasm you just had with your new lover. And no, you can’t keep both.

Even though you won’t know how to come clean about the secret life you’ve been living, you get back into alignment with what lights you up. The inner conflict isn’t there for you to unburden yourself and tell the truth. Instead, use it as a tension that challenges you to get with the program. To rise above the longing for passion with someone you don’t know and figure out how to have rapture again with the person next to you.

If you’re out of love with your partner, the commitment to reignite your passion will most likely be a mental choice at first.

The rational choice in the face of emotional emptiness will be difficult. Especially if you and your partner never had the passion, to begin with. Especially if you’re telling yourself that your life needs rapture before it’s too late. Finding the spark that lights up a life takes time. You won’t feel it at first, at least not until you put in the effort. You may not even feel it for some time. At least not until you stop blaming them for disappointing you. After all, it’s your life to live, not theirs. Chances are, you forgot to take care of yourself long before your marriage got stale.

The very thing you’re seeking – that heart song that you yearn for – is the gateway to what you want and need.

It’s the energy that will create what you want because when you know you’re refueling your passion within your partnership, you show up bigger and better. You’ll have a sense of pride and accomplishment that no one can take away.

Just because the past hasn’t turned out the way you wanted, does not mean the future can’t be better than today.

You are made of more than you realize. The sum total of your life isn’t just the stories and excuses you’ve told yourself. You’re made up of so much more. Including how you show up with your marriage partner. The way you make love to one another and what you do together creates excitement. Believe in the possibility of passion again. Because how you treat one another, how you spend time together color the novelty. When you figure out what they’re thinking about or mix things up you’ll find them interesting and unique again.

When you’re being your best, you know where your values are.

Building upon those values (the ones that had you marry in the first place) means honoring yourself and your goals. When you know yourself and have the confidence to show up for yourself, instead of hiding out of shame and embarrassment, it gives you the chance to believe in falling in love again. Let your heart tell your ego that it’s got this and allow yourself to dream again. Put aside any anger and resentments and fill up with hope and passion. The marriages that survive infidelity and restore their relationships are those who do just that. They seek a new way of doing things and hold themselves accountable to loving one another.

Why Does EVERYONE Give Unwanted Parenting Advice To A Single Dad?

June 6, 2017

Like so much else these days, it feels as if some of us are trying to reverse the world about 40 years while the rest of us are marching forward with new ideas, values, and marketplace realities. What makes us think that a single dad would be left out of this sort of conversation? Despite people giving unwanted parenting advice to a single dad, the way to deal with it is to focus more your self-confidence than on anyone else’s opinions. You really do know what you’re doing and how to do it. And they don’t.

By and large, things have totally shifted and moms are no longer the only ones who own the domain for raising kids.

At times, it seems that it’s just women who give the advice. But as a single mom, men give me parenting advice for my teens. Outspoken and confident, guys know exactly what to do. I know guys who, after their separations, have put their kids first and stayed single completely focused on their parenting. Instead of pairing up, they’ve chosen to parent their kids with their family values unhindered by a new woman’s point of view.

Today’s single dads have been raised in a world where men are involved with parenting.

I have a good friend who was a single dad for several years. He was always focused on his beautiful daughter when I saw them. There was a willingness to guide her into a responsible, creative soul. He nurtured her imagination and directed her mind. Over time he picked a terrific step-mom and step-sister to add to her life experience. In all, he clearly was an inspiration not only to me but to the many lives he touches to this day.

This single dad became my standard for how to be a single dad. For most of us, we wonder how single dads do it. We think they don’t have a clue. At times, there’s also a stigma in being divorced with a baby. Yet, there’s often a big misunderstanding about single dads taking on running a home. Why does everyone give unwanted parenting advice to a single dad? What’s going on with that kind of thinking?

As a single dad, you decide if you’re going to take her unwanted parenting advice to heart.

For the most part, it’s easier to figure out why you’re getting the advice instead of getting upset. If a woman is giving unwanted parenting advice to a single dad, my guess is that she’s really flirting with him. It doesn’t really matter what age she is. She may be trying to get you to notice her even if she’s trying to peck you into order. So, enjoy the attention and thank her for seeing what you’re up to.

Or let it ruin your day. I mean, just because she may have an idea of how to raise a kid, she doesn’t know you. You also don’t owe anyone other than your ex and your child, anything. Simply exit the conversation as quickly and kindly as possible. Especially if there’s nothing of value said.

Unwanted parenting advice to a single dad comes from the professionals.

Sometimes a single Dad gets unwanted parenting advice from a Pediatrician or a school teacher. That’s where you may find yourself stuck between a rock and a hard spot. So often, doctors and teachers focus primarily on children in divorce. But often for many divorcing parents, that advice ignores the pain they’re going through.

How do you tell a doctor or a teacher that you’re aware of what’s going on? Easy. You take the time to get to know them. Maybe you call them and run your ideas by them. Or you volunteer in the classroom. Make sure you go to as many doctor appointments as you can. Volunteer on the baseball field. Investing some personal one-on-one time with those hired to help raise your kids will pay off in the end. They’ll learn to respect and understand you more over time.

Over the years as I watched my friend raise his little girl, there was nothing left for me to say. Instead, I was in awe. I could listen in, bounce his ideas back to him, keep an eye on how that little girl was doing, but who was I to tell him how to raise a kid? Never mind, how to parent one I barely knew?

We are not going backward when it comes to single dads raising kids.

I firmly believe that every single Dad has the capacity to show up for his kids. I have had the privilege of watching men raise kids in healthy and happy environments. The old sexist vision that “mom knows best” isn’t always right. Which isn’t to say that moms can’t do it, just that single dads are doing it just as well these days!