Losing a soulmate sucks. It hurst like nobody’s business. For many of us, our love life consumes our lives. When you’ve lost your soulmate, you’re looking for serious, powerful advice. The number of places I’ve turned to is long: friends, coaches, therapists, books; my own inner spirit. On and on. Where you turn to for powerful love life advice is important. When you’ve lost your soulmate, you look everywhere!
Losing a soulmate sucks.
Love is sublime, powerful, kind; in essence, great! We love being in love. But when a love ends, when you’re in the position that you’re the one who’s lost your soulmate, it can be crippling. I’ve been in bed, on the couch, unable to function more times than I wish to count. Each time, it became worse than before. That is, until I figured out what was up.
Turn to a trusted source for powerful love life advice.
Trusted sources for love life advice are few and far between. I personally don’t read magazine articles anymore. They put me in my head and make me feel bad about myself, the choices I’ve made, and the men I slept with. Designed to make me judge myself, I do not read general advice.
I also don’t turn to religion or religious texts or therapists. I appreciate and respect religious wisdom and adore my therapist friends. But I don’t find solace in the past. The past is over and done with and understanding what I’ve done doesn’t always help me moving forward.
Instead I look towards patterns: my patterns of behavior, the way I usually do things. Then I seek out alternative ways of being so I can have a successful love life. I find this information in the cutting edge of behavioral science.
It doesn’t take hours or years to see your love-life patterns.
We do things over and over again until we’re either sick of ourselves or we’re sick of the results. (Usually, those two things go hand in hand.) I find that it doesn’t take hours or years to see patterns. They are the things that feel most comfortable. Or the way we behave in each relationship giving us the same results. They are the things we identify with and when we go to change them, it feels strange.
But just because things feel strange or awkward or self-conscious, doesn’t make them wrong or bad. To change means to be bold. To admit that what we’ve been doing hasn’t give us the results we want. When you’ve lost your soulmate, how you do your love-life needs to be shaken up! The energy it takes to re-rack and move forward comes from the very pain you’re experiencing when you lose your soulmate.
It’s that sucky feeling that drives the next decisions. Decisions create the actions and whatever consequences that come about. If you want a soulmate to stick around, you’re going to have to take those awful feelings and channel them into making decisions that create new actions and results. It seems scientific and clinical. It is. It’s how we’re wired.
Being in love is a fantastic feeling.
Most of us love being in love. But without understanding how we do our love-lives, it’s tough to grasp our part in the loss. If you’re having a tough time understanding why, let’s examine your patterns together. I promise it won’t be too long before you have a healthy, happy soulmate in your life again!