We want exciting opportunities. Most people want enough money, a great relationship and a good work environment. When you whine and complain, you harm the exciting opportunities you want. Foolish complaining will, without a doubt, ruin intimacy and love. Those complaints have to go!
The things you want cannot deal with foolish complaining.
A woman I know was going on and on about online dating recently. Newly divorced and wanting a relationship, she had excitedly joined a dating app. But she had too many negative things to say about the people coming her way. It was tough to hear her undercut guys she hoped to date and I made her stop the foolish complaining. It was evidence that more time needed to pass before love could blossom.
She then admitted she isn’t ready to begin dating again. Not yet. I encouraged her to do more healing and to take more time. Love needs vulnerability to thrive.
You cannot complain about the opposite sex at the same time you hope to be intimate.
People at work create these cultures of complaining way too often. It starts subtly then becomes annoying to others. My clients often bring questions on how to deal with workplace complaints. I always tell them not to take the bait. Once you surround yourself with whiners and complainers, it’s easy to join in and tough to break the habit.
Foolish complaining can destroy camaraderie at work or undercut the promotions you hope to get. Colleagues need solutions not more whining. Management will not promote you. And those coveted customers and clients will stay away. Those that complain must learn how to break the habit. After all it’s called work.
No work environment can deal with whining and complaining without solutions.
And then, way too often, we fall into the trap of undercutting the very person we say we love. We complain and gripe about one another. Or take each other for granted. I see this over and over again in my practice. The foolish complaining destroys intimacy, trust, and love. Just when your personal relationships need you to show up in good spirits.
During my first marriage, my husband insisted I not complain about him to others. He didn’t want the gossip and held firm. To me, it seemed odd and seemingly controlling. I didn’t understand what he meant until I began to listen to other couples. And then I got it.
Other couples were in the habit of taking cheap shots at one another. Whether in good humor or not, the constant stream of attack was difficult to be around. In fact, it was mean.
Sex requires love, trust and vulnerability. Foolish complaining about your lover ruins intimacy.
If you’re in the habit of whining and complaining whether at work or at home, consider changing. The exciting opportunities you want cannot take on your complaints habit. Not if you want to get ahead and have what you want.
Laura Bonarrigo is a Certified Life Coach and Certified Divorce Coach. Laura’s a writer, public speaker, and advisor to those ready to move their lives forward. For empowering and practical ways to begin anew personally and professionally, set up a call here.
