Second-guessing your actions stinks. Ignoring your desires, the very needs of your soul creates trouble in the future. When you forget that you matter, chaos and crisis forms trauma. It gives you long-lasting healing to contend with. To value yourself means to consider that you matter. That you’re supposed to be here. That you have something to offer and that you have a right to be happy. Value yourself please. Here are 4 authentic fundamentals to get to happy.
1. You matter.
No matter what you’ve been brain-washed to believe, you’re here for a reason. You’re unique and there’s no one here who’s exactly like you. Even when you’re not up to happy. Who you are and what you bring is necessary to create, heal, help, contribute, and grow. It has more to do with the opportunity your life gives you than it has to do with how you feel about yourself. This is valid. You matter! And we need you.
2. The pressure to succeed is real. Still, value yourself.
Second-guessing what or why you’re here will slow you down. It will also stop that happy feeling. Deal with it. No matter what’s up, it’s time to take a good look in the mirror and consider what you have to offer others. No matter how comfy cozy you are, it’s time to move off the victim mentality. Or the opposite manic attempt to only feel good things. Your body, mind, and spirit are here for a reason. Confronting fears, conflict, and even future success will help you let go of the past and develop an appreciation, gratitude even, and certainly some pride. Doing so moves you toward happiness.
I see you. What are you going to do about that?
3. There are periods of crazy. Still, you matter.
Crazy and crisis happen to the best of us. Despite your best intentions, there are days you’ll feel lost and may even BE lost. You may even do things you’ll regret. Then surprise yourself and want to hide. Shame is what it is. This will not make you feel happy Welcome to being human! Humans make mistakes. You will not be perfect. Craziness happens.
When you remember that you’re part of the human race and not IG’s curated lifestyle club, you’ll realize that living life is about experiencing all of it. Not just the perfect, happy parts.
So having humility in the face of this kind of misunderstanding matters. Because when crises happen, and they will, you’ll need to pull upon an equal amount of grit and compassion to move onward. Life is to be experienced to be understood not the other way around.
4. If you matter then you’ll need to deal with conflict.
The number one reason most relationships end is because one or both people don’t know how to handle the to-be expected conflicts. Asking for what you need often feels embarrassing. So most people live out their relationships via assumptions instead of accelerating towards discomfort. None of this behavior feels good.
But we all make agreements and resolving competing desires begins with speaking up. Feeling safe, heard, and understood. Not letting assumptions run your life. This may feel uncomfortable but when people don’t speak up, that’s when long-term trauma usually occurs. Please learn to speak up so you stand a chance to have your needs met.
6. You have a right to have your needs met. And to be happy.
We live in a world filled with entitlement. However, you matter and your needs valid. We’re also allowed to communicate what we want and affirm healthy boundaries. That’s the culture we’re in. We expect to be happy.
But having your needs met means that you also have to respect and cherish others. Not take advantage of them. You’ll be happier not doing so! Compromise helps. Compassion’s required. In the end, living a curated life will not matter. But being happy is a value we can all agree on.