Like so much else these days, it feels as if some of us are trying to reverse the world about 40 years while the rest of us are marching forward with new ideas, values, and marketplace realities. What makes us think that a single dad would be left out of this sort of conversation? Despite people giving unwanted parenting advice to a single dad, the way to deal with it is to focus more your self-confidence than on anyone else’s opinions. You really do know what you’re doing and how to do it. And they don’t.
By and large, things have totally shifted and moms are no longer the only ones who own the domain for raising kids.
At times, it seems that it’s just women who give the advice. But as a single mom, men give me parenting advice for my teens. Outspoken and confident, guys know exactly what to do. I know guys who, after their separations, have put their kids first and stayed single completely focused on their parenting. Instead of pairing up, they’ve chosen to parent their kids with their family values unhindered by a new woman’s point of view.
Today’s single dads have been raised in a world where men are involved with parenting.
I have a good friend who was a single dad for several years. He was always focused on his beautiful daughter when I saw them. There was a willingness to guide her into a responsible, creative soul. He nurtured her imagination and directed her mind. Over time he picked a terrific step-mom and step-sister to add to her life experience. In all, he clearly was an inspiration not only to me but to the many lives he touches to this day.
This single dad became my standard for how to be a single dad. For most of us, we wonder how single dads do it. We think they don’t have a clue. At times, there’s also a stigma in being divorced with a baby. Yet, there’s often a big misunderstanding about single dads taking on running a home. Why does everyone give unwanted parenting advice to a single dad? What’s going on with that kind of thinking?
As a single dad, you decide if you’re going to take her unwanted parenting advice to heart.
For the most part, it’s easier to figure out why you’re getting the advice instead of getting upset. If a woman is giving unwanted parenting advice to a single dad, my guess is that she’s really flirting with him. It doesn’t really matter what age she is. She may be trying to get you to notice her even if she’s trying to peck you into order. So, enjoy the attention and thank her for seeing what you’re up to.
Or let it ruin your day. I mean, just because she may have an idea of how to raise a kid, she doesn’t know you. You also don’t owe anyone other than your ex and your child, anything. Simply exit the conversation as quickly and kindly as possible. Especially if there’s nothing of value said.
Unwanted parenting advice to a single dad comes from the professionals.
Sometimes a single Dad gets unwanted parenting advice from a Pediatrician or a school teacher. That’s where you may find yourself stuck between a rock and a hard spot. So often, doctors and teachers focus primarily on children in divorce. But often for many divorcing parents, that advice ignores the pain they’re going through.
How do you tell a doctor or a teacher that you’re aware of what’s going on? Easy. You take the time to get to know them. Maybe you call them and run your ideas by them. Or you volunteer in the classroom. Make sure you go to as many doctor appointments as you can. Volunteer on the baseball field. Investing some personal one-on-one time with those hired to help raise your kids will pay off in the end. They’ll learn to respect and understand you more over time.
Over the years as I watched my friend raise his little girl, there was nothing left for me to say. Instead, I was in awe. I could listen in, bounce his ideas back to him, keep an eye on how that little girl was doing, but who was I to tell him how to raise a kid? Never mind, how to parent one I barely knew?
We are not going backward when it comes to single dads raising kids.
I firmly believe that every single Dad has the capacity to show up for his kids. I have had the privilege of watching men raise kids in healthy and happy environments. The old sexist vision that “mom knows best” isn’t always right. Which isn’t to say that moms can’t do it, just that single dads are doing it just as well these days!
