So, you’re a cheater or you’ve got a cheater on your hands? Ouch! Either way, you’re looking for a way to survive infidelity as a cheater and deal with the blow-back. Even though I know it might not seem this way at the moment, essentially, the cheater and the hurt partner are both looking to regain self-worth, dignity, and self-respect. Because for all of us, unfortunately, that reflection in the mirror is difficult to ignore!
You see, there’s a big difference between surviving and thriving. And with infidelity, it’s no different. You can easily survive the pain, the loss of self-esteem, and regret. As well, you can easily walk away from a marriage, throw in the towel, and punish yourself giving into every demand out of guilt. However, on the flip side, you could also easily spend your days enacting revenge if you wish. But by creating and owning a life – your future – you have a real chance to survive infidelity as a cheater.
How to thrive and not simply survive infidelity as a cheater!
- Own it. All of it… the innocent or not so innocent flirting, the affair of the mind and your inability to communicate with your partner. 100% ownership is the only way out of any lack of self-respect or even self-righteousness. Your partner did not and does not deserve to be lied to. No matter what you’re telling yourself.
- Decide: Are you going to punish yourself for going against your word? Are you going to push it aside and ignore the facts and simply deal with it or power through the rest of your life? That attitude and mindset may be a short-term solution for a lot of stuff, but when it comes to your lifetime, that’s a long time to ignore something.
You never forget the person who reminds you that you’re entitled to love, romance and affection!
To survive infidelity as a cheater you have to decide to thrive for the rest of your life. Why did you let yourself not feel loved in your relationship? (This goes for both partners…) What kept you from setting up boundaries to protect yourself? Too often people don’t realize how painful it is to lie to someone they love.
Hearts cause us pain, not our minds, and our thoughts – sure, it all might start there but it’s your heart that hurts.
Take back your self-respect. Despite wishing it so, no amount of thinking your way out of what you did is going to heal your heart. Your heart is where you feel. And feelings are the things that hurt. Not logic. No matter what, the logic is simply your mind looking for a way out of the mess. But, there is no way out through thinking. You must earn taking back your self-respect by being your word.
Learn to trust yourself as you know in your heart of hearts that you blew it. Those big declarations of love and faith may be hard to stomach right now. So avoid those huge declarations and resolutions as you start to survive infidelity as a cheater. Start super small.
To survive infidelity as a cheater remember if you aren’t your word, it’s you who suffers.
Give it time. We’re all doing the best we can. Up until this moment, you’ve been doing the best you can given what you know and how you’ve acted over the years. But though, giving it time looks like being patient, it also means, it’s time to up your game!
Each and every one of us deserves love. We deserve to thrive in our lifetimes, to be treated with kindness, to be seen and heard. When people cheat, everyone gets hurt. And as adults, we must deal with the blow-back.
Dealing with the blow-back looks like owning, deciding, figuring it out, and being your word. When you do what you say you’re going to do, you have a chance to take back your self-respect. You learn to trust yourself again. So you’re no longer known as the cheater you once were.