What is Post-Traumatic
What is Post-Traumatic Divorce Disorder?
Having gone through 3 divorces - once as a child, once as a young adult, and once as a mom after 15 years of marriage - I know this for sure:
Going from being married to being happily single again isn’t easy, despite the number of couples going through divorce and whether or not you were the one who wanted out of your marriage.
Post-Traumatic Divorce Disorder™ is a term I coined to describe those stuck in the story of their divorce. The truth is there are days during everyone’s separation that hurt seem incredibly unfair. But, then there are those who are unable to move forward with their lives no matter the circumstances. As I began to look around, my heart began to break - I realized many people hadn’t healed from their separations and were stuck in the story of an unfulfilling past.
I witnessed this first hand as the shame of divorce followed me into my first and second marriages. It was only after I was on my knees in my attorney’s office separating from my children’s father that I realized I had to change how I was approaching this entire experience.
It was time for me to take back my life and to figure out how to make my future one I wanted to live. And just like that, I began truly focusing on my healing.
Listen to my interview with DivorceForce
regarding Post-Traumatic Divorce Disorder™
Commonly Experienced as:
- an unwillingness or an inability to let go of the past
- an inability to focus on the future without negative feelings
- daily or weekly focus on exacting revenge
- gossiping, whining and complaining about an Ex
- using children to punish an Ex/be at the receiving end of punishment
- using money as a way to punish an Ex/be at the receiving end of staying stuck
- a pattern of confusion and an unwillingness to take personal responsibility for one’s part in the breakup of the marriage/ over responsibility and self-blame for the breakup of the marriage
- an unwillingness or inability to take care of one’s appearance and health, career momentum and financial security
- a fear of dating, intimacy or marrying again
- an unwillingness or inability to stop fighting with an Ex whether in your mind or in reality.